Wiper blades.  Innocent things, really....

They're just long black things, sticking out there, waiting patiently to be called into service.  Couple weeks ago we were driving to somewhere or from somewhere, Val used the wipers, except they didn't work so well.  Damn things are not too old, probably not even a year old yet.  Wonder why they go bad so fast.

Is it the contour of the windshield?  Is the size of the wiper?  I'm thinking this is party the case.  This car has a 22" wiper on the driver side, a 20" on the passenger side.  The driver side wiper was the one that was doing the chicken dance on it's path down the glass (why do they always work great going up, but smear the glass going down?) while the passenger side worked fine.

Ventured into Fleet Farm today...aka the "man's mall" aka "if the store doesn't have it, you don't need it" etc.  I think I've mentioned this place before, and it does have nearly everything a guy needs.  But I have 2 major gripes with the place...one I've probably mentioned, is that they play throwball games on the radio, at super high volume.  I mean it's loud.  Annoys the crap right out of me.  So when I go to take care of that, they have a clear violation of man law.  They have 4 urinals....no dividers. WTH is wrong with them??? 

Anyway, went there to look at a couple things, they had a special price on "bubbakegs", a 52 oz cup, which I didn't buy because the lid screws on, which is good, except the lid and cup are very slippery, which would cause a disaster on clumsy day.  I forgot what else I was going to look at, but I remembered that the car needs new wipers.  BTW, back to the size issue.  My pickup has 18" wipers, and they last a couple years.  Sure, I only drive it 3000 miles a year, but it sits outside every day of that year, while the car spends most of the winter in the garage.  Hmmmmmmmmore to think about.

Anyway.  ANCO makes pretty good wipers, and until a couple years ago, a guy could just buy replacement blades--cheap.  Now, you have to buy the whole thing, blade and carrier thing that snaps onto the arm.  $4.59 for standard, $5.85 for "winter" $9.xx for "aerovantage" $15.xx for "superdupermagicalculturedcomeswithdinnerandashow.  ANCO was offering a $5 rebate when you buy a pair of blades.  But not for the cheapies, (haha, like any of them are cheap!).  So we're trying the "winter" blades.

Seen these things???  They look like John Holmes or Ron Jeremy gave some of their black coloured condoms to ANCO....the wiper device is wrapped in rubber to keep water from collecting and freezing in the space between the blade and the arm, which causes the wiper blade to do the macarena right when you need it most.  Which is, of course, during the middle of an ice storm when you're driving over the river and through the woods when the guy ahead of you hits that dead skunk that everyone else has avoided for the last 3 days...causing all the pent up intestinal gases to explode out through the balloon neck hole, which makes it fly all around much like you've seen on the cartoons.  It really happens, folks....and that putrid sucker will land on your windshield, and you need to scrape it off.  But you can't, because your wiper has collected all the rain drops it's seen for the last 45 miles which has taken 6 hours to travel due to all the shoppers heading to the mall or to Applebees or to Pure Pleasure or Kwik Trip to get their porn or bread and milk before they're trapped for 3 days.  Hey...the internet might go down.  So your wiper arm is encased in ice, the rubber is an inch off the glass not doing a damn thing when that skunk lands on your windshield.  It starts to cook because you've got the defroster blasting full power, it's a good thing there's no heat seeking missiles around because they'd zero in on your defroster vents.  That, my friends, would be messy.  So the skunk guts are cooking onto your windshield, the wiper arm is coming his fur, you're wishing the kids would stop screaming because it is a bit distracting and your spouse is shouting for you to for God's sake do something, that skunk stench is gonna make me hurl!

What I really can't figure out...is why there are red tips on the ends of the winter blades.  Pretty lousy pic, isn't it.  I'm not sure they could have put a smaller picture of it on their website.  So, 2 wiper blades at $5.85, a 41 cent stamp, a 3 cent stamp, an envelope and a $5 rebate almost gets the price down to reasonable.  But: can you put a price on clear vision?  We could imagine the cops providing a ticket for unauthorized skunk cooking causing a crash, the cost of repairing your car and the others you crashed into when the chain reaction of puking began, first the spouse followed by the kids and then the dog after he ate most of the piles of vomit.  Plus the cost of increased insurance coverage....changing the wipers is starting to sound pretty cheap, isn't it!  What about the cost of the wiper juice?  That, my friends, is another bloggy entry....but none of them really do a good job dissolving skunk.

Thanksgiving day is here...

Hope it goes well for you.  I violated my own clever observations, by attempting pie yesterday.  See, all this time, I thought that Grandma had only one pie crust recipe, but turns out there are 4 or 5 recipes in that book that ginny put together.  Sadly, there's not a flashing red light around the one that was her favorite, saying "use this recipe for pecan pie". 

I had all sorts of trouble with the crust.  I briefly forgot that moisture content in the flour dictates how much liquid to use, and the recipe called for half a cup water, an egg, a T of vinegar.  Good thing I didn't put all that in there, it'd have been a soppy mess.  I know, I should have been practicing making pie crusts.  the first one that I rolled out kept breaking, so finally I put them back into the fridge and did something else.  I should have tossed it, I suppose, because too much handling of the dough will make it tough...and trust me, I handled it like an athlete with a backache.  Knead it, smooth it, press it, roll it.  About the only thing I didn't do to it is stick my elbow into it's butt, but hey...a pie crust doesn't really have a butt.

So.  After I made the macNcheese from the Carnival.com website/bloggy thing, I tried the crustyness again.  This time, it rolled out, ok.  I had to patch it up a bit.  then I used the left over bits to make the other one larger as I rolled it, and it turned out pretty good, I think it only took 2 tries to get it.  I think I used more flour to keep it from sticking, and probably the temperature of the dough was right, too.  BUT.  there were no directions about baking the crust!  No time, no temperatures!  What to do?  Well.  Glad you asked.  Here's what I did.  The other recipes had temps of 350 and 450, so I set it at 400.  Some said 8 minutes, some said 12, so I set the timer for 10.

Baked the pecan pie on a cookie sheet.  Good thing too, that bastard ran over a little bit.  Not much, but it would have made a stinky mess in the oven.


just dropped the ice bin from the freezer onto the floor, spilled most of the ice.  I suppose I should have taken a pic, posted it on facebook, proclaimed: "mybad", all before I cleaned it up, but I just swore loudly enough for Val to come scampering from the bathroom (naked), to help clean it up.  Yep, threw it into the cooler to keep her mt dew cold.  Also my lemonade and coffee and the cool whip.  Real life honest to goodness cool whip, whipped oil!  Not generic, believe it or not.  It was the same price, or even cheaper, last time we bought it.  Can't remember when that was, so it's probably turned into white crap, aka divinity.  Oh well, we're taking it anyway, not going to look inside, just in case. 

I suppose that I should load the car and shave, etc, since it looks like we're going to be late.  The advil is kicking in, I think I'm going to survive.

Happy Thanksgiving week!

Honestly, these big family events drive me nuts.  Why?  Oh, many reasons. 

But first, here's an observation that seems obvious...the problem with this bloggy thing is that you're learning so very much about me and I don't know for sure who even reads this thing.  BTW, thanks to all of you that admit to reading this literary flotsam.  Just in case you didn't know...when I say: "I welcome comments", this means comments encouraged, emails appreciated, because I'd enjoy learning your thoughts or views.

Do people know the definitions of: sublime, surreal, epic, awesome, supercalifragilisticexpedalidocious, and prawn?  No, I don't think they know, either. 

Growing up, I was spoiled.  I only had one brother, one sister, 4 cousins.  A huge number of 2nd cousins, but most of them didn't come to most events....because we didn't get together with Grandma's side of the family too often....in the later years.  Seems like we did get together more often when I was younger.  Here's an example.

Once upon a time, in a land far to the south, Grandma and Grandpa lived on a farm that they rented from some guy named Davison.  Maybe it was Davidson...I don't know and honestly, I don't really care.  It was a decent enough place, kind of a small house, a nice sized chicken coop, 2 car garage, 2 barns, a nice sized machine shed, but a long dirt driveway, which caused all sorts of problems most of the year.  That does not pertain to this story, so disregard all of that about the driveway.  BTW, it's been covered with gravel.  This story occured in 1975 or 76, I'd guess.  Michael Scott Leighton the boy came to visit with his family, along with some others;  Grandma had about 35 sisters and 2 brothers, each of them had SEVERAL kids.  Some had 2 kids, some 3, some 17 from several marriages.  There could be an exaggeration here or there, reader beware.  The exaggeration has ended.  Michael Scott Leighton the girl comitted this terrible act of abuse to a perfectly good bowl of homemade ice cream.  Ok, Ok.  I refer to him in that way because he ALWAYS announced his presence by stating:  I am Michael Scott Leighton the boy.  To torture him, we ammended it to "girl", but I'm not going to speculate how his fellow inmates reacted to this announcement.  Perhaps he gave it up as he got older.  Ok. so we're at Grandma's house, we have home made ice cream, and a whole house of cousins.  The 'boy' thought he'd be clever and funny, so he went to the hen house and got an egg, put it on the ice cream.  Just his bowl, he didn't ruin it for all of us.  BUT an egg was not enough, so he declared that he was going to crap onto it, and he did indeed do exactly that.  Someone went to tell on him, I'm sure he disposed of the evidence, and I'm also sure that his mother didn't beat him, because if she had, he wouldn't have done it in the first place, and if she did, he wouldn't have grown up as such an asshole to wind up in prison.

Yep, asshole cousins on both sides of the family.  We have not even begun to talk of the step cousins that arrived when Dad married the stepmonster or the step cousins that appeared when Grandpa Hoffman married Mary. 

Disclaimer:  I too am an asshole cousin.  Just ask around. 

As I was lying in bed last night waiting to sleep, I was distracted by a list of names of people that I'd be honored to attend Thanksgiving with.  Yep, there were some relatives on there, but not too many.  I wonder....should I list the names???

Ok, so I could waffle on and on, but bottom line is this.  I'm thinking that I would rather hang out with people that I like and enjoy the company of rather than a bunch of people that I don't really like or enjoy their company.  I'm not the sort of person that can pretend to be having fun.

Family events, right.  Should be fun, right?  Usually not...usually very stressful.  Why?  because people are cooking stuff they don't usually cook, entertain people they know well or even like.  Cook amounts/quantities of stuff they're not familiar with, new recipes, running out of crap, can't find stuff, equipment failure, spoilage, personality conflicts, throwball games, drunk dumbasses, transporting stuff over the river and thru the woods...it gets cold or hot and the foil sticks or falls off allowing it to get dirty or you drop it and the damn dog that smells like that third skunk you passed 45 miles ago grabs it up and eats it or rolls on it or trips you so you drop everything and twist your back so now you're in intense pain, but since no one pays attention, everyone has to ask what happened or why your back hurts.  Even though they saw what happened, they have to ask 4 times.  And what usually happens when you are near that 3rd dead skunk, is that someone inevitibly hits the damn thing, causing the huge amount of decomposition gases to rapidly escape (think balloon), causing it to fly up, and splat on your windshield.  Now...you are smart enough to not use the wipers to try to get this greasy bloody gut smeared abomination off your glass, so you stomp on the brakes to attempt to dislodge it.  Whoops, you forgot that Mayhem  has been here to visit your trip over the river and through the woods in the form of black ice. Or if you're on a concrete road, it'd be grey ice.  Never mind if you're on the gravel.  Yep, ABS is a wonderful thing, when it works, but it can't work on the mirror smooth ice and you've got your foot jammed to the floor like that time you were stomping and clapping to the beat of Queen's we will rock you.  stomp stomp clap stomp stomp clap  we will we will rock you rock you.  (good luck with that ear worm, my friend)  So. Your front wheels have locked, the back trades places with the front, now the inside of the car smells as bad as the outside and is about as colourful, since all those goodies you spent so much time on have splatted around....think Maytag washer spin cycle...and I don't know what happens next, because I had kept the correct following distance, and was able to react in a controlled, safe manner, execute a move and get the hell out of the way of your wood paneled minivan, aka dorkmobile.  All I know is that you need new shortyshorts, and Victoria's secret is not open on Thanksgiving.  Kwik Trip does not yet sell fancy filmy underpants, and we all know you can't have unsightly lines...good luck with all that!

What else?  never enough bathrooms, house is too hot, never enough salt/pepper shakers, too many people insist on serving margarine instead of butter, kids and pets need to go out for exercise, someone has to have the damn throwball game on, with the volume turned WAY UP!

This is the 3rd day I've hammered at this, my hand hurts, I'm tired.  I'm going to make pie and bread and other stuff tomorrow (Wednesday before Tday)

I don't know what's wrong with my hand.  It probably needs to knead some bread and mix some pie filling.  It's my left hand, don't be thinking any weird thoughts.

Had a discussion/reminder about pennywise vs dollar foolish the other day.  We were buying stuff to cover the trailer and motorcycles, ie tarp, straps, hooks, etc.  BTW, where the hell are those other 2 red ratchet straps?  Did I loan them to someone?  Did someone steal them?  Weird.  The orange ones are the ones to steal, to be honest.  Not to worry, Menard's had some on special/rebate, so now we've got more.

The penny wise discussion came when we got to the S hooks.  Since the ramp of the trailer is the back end of it, and it is primarily constructed of that expanded metal stuff, I figgered that using hooks to secure the tarp would be the easiest and most cost effective.  5 S hooks in a pkg at Menards is about $1.50.  Not much money, right?  But they are small, and hard to bend...so they'd fall out of where I put them.  So I said:  "these S hooks can bugger off, we'll sodding make our own!" 

Yes, been reading a British writer.  I tell you, they can waffle on about pretty much nothing at all.

So.  I got a piece of wire from the garage, took along a pair of wire cutters, also known as dikes or nippers, and indeed, was successful making our own S hooks, just the right size, too.  I'm sure we would have spent more time looking for the little ones that we would have dropped into the dirt than we spend making these. 

Brand new 16x20 tarp....missing a grommet.  How rude.  Val's mom bragged about how they had some rubber thingy that could make grommets by spinning straw into gold and then with the proper application of hair of mole and eye of cat it'd magically transform into a grommet.  She didn't go trotting off to fetch the system, so the one hole in the front is grommetless and therefore strapless. 

Strapless is nice, not as nice as braless, but that's a different subject altogether.

I could write a long paragraph about what I think about the changes to the buses, but I won't.  I'm sure that they did lots of studies.  :(

I still have not gotten the east side gutter cleaned and toppered.  There's about 6' on the west side that didn't get a topper too, the shingles are stuck down too tightly.  I wonder if the east side will come up easy or not.  It's well shaded all day, unlike the west side, which does get full sun part of the day.  You can bet I'll let you know, assuming I get to it on Friday or next Wednesday.

Here are 16 naughty things you can only get away with saying on Thanksgiving:

 

(1) Talk about a huge breast.

(2) Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

(3) It's COOL WHIP time !

(4) If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst !

(5) That's one terrific spread !

(6) I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

(7) Are you ready for seconds yet ?

(8) It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it ?

(9) Just wait your turn, you'll get some !

(10) Don't play with your meat .

(11) Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

(12) Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once ?

(13) I didn't expect everyone to come at once !

(14) You still have a little on your chin.

(15) How long will it take after you stick it in ?

(16) You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

It's a week away, start practicing now !!! :)

 

Of course, use yer best judgement...you could get the good news with a soup ladle along the side of your skull.  Not responsible for spills, stains or unwanted pregnancies.

 

Oh, sure, a guy could come up with more: 

Wow, that's a big piece of meat.

Thighs?  No, I'm more of a breast fan...

I'd love to eat your pie.

 

Yeah, I copied the first batch from the internetshmmmmmmm perhaps the most appetizing sounding ingredient.  Yeah, that's it.  :)

 

Happy Friday, Happy Veterans Day, Happy Birthday to the Marines.

Ok, enough of the sappy crap.

Something I've learned on this bloggy thing?  I don't remember everything that I typitty tap type here.  Sure, if someone brings it up, I will recall it.  Take for example, the post I wrote right after we went to see Grandma when I mentioned my dead cousin, a live cousin and her homeless looking kid.  Apparently she didn't appreciate that....but then again, she is a liberal and therefore hyper sensitive to the truth.  We're no longer FB friends, due to her hyper sensitivity.

I'm thinking that the act of typing is therapeutic for me, and the aggravation I feel and write about is absolved, and therefore I forget about it.  Hee hee haha hoho.

Finally made it to the shoe store. Can someone please tell me the allure of the "outlet mall"?  They had the exact same selection at the same prices there as at the store down by WallyMart.  Yes, I actually went to 3 shoe stores as well as going thru the shoe dept at WM.  2 of them were Famous Footwear, they have a small Sketchers section, about 5 styles.  Also went to Payless...since it was nearby.  Saw something very interesting along the way, but I'm not going to tell you about that.

As suspected, the music was too loud, the heat was too high, the stink factor was way up there.  BUT the trash issue wasn't too bad.  Perhaps that means that the shoes I tried on/looked at had been tried on before.  Or maybe that means they're cutting back on the crap that they fill the shoes with.  Loooky Jeff...I ended a phrase with a preposition!  :)  I know you don't care. 

WallyMart did a reorganization of the store about 4 years ago, I still am looking for the stuff where it used to be located.  About the time I get it rememberized, they'll move it all again. 

Someone here has bad gas, I'm going to blame the cat, since he can't blame me and he doesn't care anyway.

Speaking of gas, it's about time to treat the gas in the mower, trimmer, and motorcycles.  I use Stabil.  I have heard that some use "seafoam" with good results, but it's not thick and red (like SloeGin), so how do you know if it's doing anything??  Probably going to take out the batteries this year, put them in the basement.  The plan is to load them on the trailer, cover them and put them into a red SHED where the power supply is not reliable.  Besides, we have 3 bikes and only 2 battery tenders.  Anyone want to buy a good used bike?  My plan is to put a bunch of stuff on the trailer, like the mower, the saddlebag box, a couple benches that I use in the garage for MC repair and work...clear out the garage so Val has less crap to run over when she parks the car in the garage.  Or maybe so when we're out of town the pickup can fit into the garage.

Got a crack in the corner of my thumb already.  I must need to do some more massages, or at least use more lotion on me.  Who wants a massage?  Honestly, it's a lot more fun to put lotion all over someone else, esp if they're paying me for the privilege.

Lots to do this weekend, like put cayenne pepper in the bird seed and on the suet cakes. Damn squirrels are eating it!  AND it's not really bird seed...if you plant it, birds don't appear, who named this stuff?  Need to spread some winterizer fertilizer on the grass, clean the gutter, etc.  come help!  Trade a massage....

Penny wise, pound foolish.  observations and comments

There are lots of examples.  Too bad I can't think of any right now.  :)

Don't think that's going to stop my bloggy post, however.  Oh, here's one.  Caught cold and going to use a lot of kleenix?  It'd be penny wise, nose foolish to buy the cheap tissues instead of spending another buck to get the Puffs Plus with lotion....This is something you will regret, I guarantee. 

Don't know if you like whiskey or rum?  Buying the bottle on the bottom shelf because it is only $11 could be a mistake....you may determine that you "don't like" whiskey or rum when you have not tried the good stuff.  Same goes for beer and even coffee.  People will try coffee that is too weak or too strong and then think they have to dump in a bunch of sugar/cream/etc to make it drinkable...when they just need to regulate the gounds. 

A cheap shovel may last 2 years but the shovel that cost $5 more may last 10.  A $30 coffee pot may last 1 year, but the $100 pot can/will last for 10.  Or it may only last for 5 years if you didn't remember to turn off the switch when you went out of town for a week...

Sometimes cheap stuff is just as good as expensive stuff.  I have off brand/no name wrenches that have been just as good as the name brand sold by Sears.  I was going to comment on the underwear....but I've never tried expensive underwear.  Val has some, and it doesn't seem to last very long.  Dunno.  No, it's not my fault that her's don't last a long time.

Well.  So far, this is dull as shit, isn't  it. 

An example of when I was cheap and regretted it:  I bought a GPS from a one sale each day site, it was refurbished.  It didn't ever work quite right, and the maps were wrong.  Tom the bastard wouldn't send new maps even though I was willing to pay him.  Our friend Jim confirmed what I suspected:  lifetime map upgrades are not going my life time, or even the lifetime of the magical map unit...only as long as they decide to support the unit.  I doubt that they will tell you in the book:  Oh, btw, we're only going to send you maps for about another 6 weeks...so enjoy your new magical map!

When I was doing apt maintenance, it didn't take long to learn that the owners had installed the absolute cheapest cabinets and doors that they could buy.  Kids in that complex must have derived a lot of pleasure from riding the cabinet doors in the amazing 180* arc that they traveled.  Eventually, the little screws holding the hinges to the face frames would pull out of the glued and pressed newspaper that it was made of.  You can imagine my puzzlement, the first time I was called to a unit to repair one...I sat down on my bucket...floor was too sticky to sit on...and looked at it for a while.  I looked around at the others, found some examples of repair.  I found that I'd have to reinforce the face frames with pieces of wood, pieces of steel, I'd have to glue the "boards" back together from where they were splitting, fill the screw holes with toothpicks and glue so there would be something for the hinge screws to hold on to.  One great day, the drill slipped and allowed the phillips bit to perforate my hand.  Believe me, that hurt. 

I think they should have spent a little more money, used cabinets with solid wood face frames.  Same sort of thing with the doors...the asshats that lived there lived to punch/poke holes in the doors, which we patched by using contact cement to glue a piece of similar crap over the hole.    OH, sure, when the manager moved into a different apt?  she got all new doors, new cabinets, new bathroom sink, new fridge.  oh well.

You know, I suppose the very best example of penny wise, pound foolish comes from the grocery store.  A package of this or that seems cheaper, and it may be, because it is a smaller package.  Yeah, it makes me grumpy.  That's all for today...over and out.

Haircuts and Shoe Shopping, 2 of my favorite things.

No, not really. Think, and think hard:  have you ever seen me comb my hair? Nope, you probably have not.  This is because it's about my only body part that is well behaved.  It never hurts, makes noise, if I give it the proper maintenance, it doesn't smell bad, etc.  It just lies there, looking brown.  I have briefly attempted a hair style, 2 times.  Once in school, I asked either Mike or Ames to cut it like Dad's, for the part on the side, comb over thing.  It didn't work out.  And once back in the 90's, I went to one of those hair cut places, and I knew she didn't listen closely when she took out her buzzer dowhinkey thingy and buzzed all my hair off, about half an inch was all that was left.  That turned out to be ok, we went out and bought a Wahl clipper set from Fleet Farm for $20 and Val cut my hairs for about 5 years. 

I don't have a style....and it just falls where it falls.  I stir it around occasionally...and so this is why I don't much care for a trip to the hair cut place.  I had a girl all lined up and trained;  several of them, over the years, actually.  I found the one when I needed a hair cut for Grandpa's funeral, March 96.  Couple years later, she left.  03, girl fresh out of school, traded hair cuts for massage.  FLAKE.  05 or 06, same deal, but she never called to set up her massage, so I quit going to see her.  Got 4 free haircuts. 

Finally, someone opened a "salon for men", calling it a barbershop, they have coffee, they have peanuts, they have a tv in each station.  They do a shampoo and a vibrator style shoulder massage.  $10.  If I could get the same girl each time, I'd be set....because apparently simply stating:  "shorter, thinner, over the ears and off the collar" is not enough information.  I don't really mind the cutting, I love the shampoo, and the vibrator thing is nice.  I guess I just don't like the explanation part, which is why I want the same girl each time.  And the comb on the ear part....it's not like my ears are small therefore hard to see...jeez, girl, don't comb them...it HURTS.

Shoe shopping.  I need new tennis/walking/multi purpose shoes.  I don't play tennis, but I still call them tennis shoes.  I don't know why.  Actually, I don't NEED new shoes, it's just that my current pair are dirty and kinda ragged, and won't look good while on vacation, so I'm going to get a new pair.  What brand?  Glad you asked.  I wear Sketchers now.  Wore New Balance for the longest time, but found Sketchers to be more comfortable...and they last a long long time, too.  Here's why I don't like shoe shopping.

Usually, the store is too warm.  Always the store smells like what is in it:  Chinese rubber, nylon, synthetic crap.  P U.  If I can find the right size in a shoe that I like the looks of, or at least I don't dislike the looks of it, the shoes are always filled with 5# of trash, and the store never has a bin to throw it into.  Seems like there's always bad music on the speakers, played too loud for my special ears, having been combed raw and bleeding.  Ok, that is an exaggeration, but you had a mental image of me with my ears taped up like a german shephard puppy, didn't you?

Thankfully, the shoes are almost always laced up now...otherwise, that chore is next.  Try on the new shoes, and prance around, try to determine if they are going to fit or cause the little toe to eat the next toe.  Seems like there is always some screaming baby in the middle of the aisle that I've chosen to do my walkabout...which enhances my shoe buying experience.  Maybe they'll change it's diaper right next to me, so I can enjoy that aspect of it too.     

Several years ago, on my noon kinderarten route, which was a special needs route, they brought out one kid, put him on the bus and went away very quickly. It was just a couple days past Valentine's day...and we had to sit and wait for another kid.  :(  The paraprofessional (interesting word, isn't it, para meaning half?) looked at the kid:  "Caden, did you drop a load?"  Of course, the kid is retarded in some manner, and just kinda bounced up and down.  Finally the other kid came out and got on, she asked:  "what's that smell?"  I said to the para:  "feel free to put down a window or 2".  Seems like it took an eternity to drive across town, and I was thankful the kid had on his nylon snowpants, tucked into his boots.....because he had indeed dropped a load, a massive load, if the odour was any indication.  When we finally got there, the lady came out to get him, Mark announced:  "we suspect that Caden is packing...".  She nodded and took him away.  The next day....she advised us on how he stunk up the whole facility.  Which we already knew....as we had driven across town with our heads out the windows.  That, my friends, was awful.

How was that for a crappy story?  Sure, there's more, like how he kept bouncing up and down, saying: "poooooooooo".

Also, regarding shoes...In the winter, I typically wear waterproof hiking style boots since we have so much winter weather, lots of puddles, lots of snow.  I've worn the same pair for several years, the soles are getting thin...and they are not very warm.  So....it may be time to replace them.

Sheila seems to think shoe shopping is a reward for all of her hard work.  I suppose for her it is...she can go out and buy some sassy expensive heely shoes that will garner her loads of rumpy pumpy, which would indeed be a reward.  My shoes have never inspired anyone to commit rumpy pumpy.

For me, shoes serve to keep my feet warm and dry, to keep me comfortable when I'm walking around...

I clearly need an editor...there are some jambled thoughts going on there.  OH WELL!

Remember, friends...it's cat's week.