MoviPrep, it's what's for dinner...

615 mix and drink 1st course  

Right away I feel the poison racing around my guts...also start feeling a little sleepy, eyes not focusing.  headache.  feeling like glucose is low.
635 drink 2nd course
645, drink 3rd
655 feel urge to fart....tentatively let it go...
703 4th 
708 more urges to fart, wonder if it is safe...not going to tempt fate.
710 wife cooks dinner, mocking me.  Pretty sure that when she needs to go, I'll be on the pot.  haha

711 tummy noises, the urge to fart intensifies.
713 chills
720 cramps
730 first eruption
745 wonder if I need to head back
800 oops, need to change clothes now.  :(

I know that what I ate did not smell like that. yuck

hungry!


One week later:

Moviprep, the dinner for those going in for a colonoscope.  I'll say this, right up front:  None of it is as bad as expected.  Except the smell of the gooselike emissions.  If what I was about to eat smelled as bad as that, I'd skip dinner, thank you very much.  I'm here to tell you that I've never said that my dumpings smelled like flowers, but this was several times worse than normal. The cat was looking around for a dog to blame it on, if you can believe that.  And I've been in the same room when the cat drops his load, and won't cover it.  Proud little fucker.  I should kick his stinky little ass for mocking me.

Ok, so all of that at the very top is notes I took after mixing and taking the prep solution.  The directions state that you can suck on either a lemon or lime wedge or suck on ice right before drinking it.  I didn't find the taste to be a problem, kind of a lemon lime laced with salty pool water.  Rather viscous, it left an unpleasant film in the mouth after drinking.  

I found myself holding my breath after swallowing it; not that it tasted bad, but I knew it was going to be bad.  I wanted it to taste bad because once it was in, it felt bad.  The stuff I was provided is only a quart at night and another quart in the morning...and it comes with a mixing jar.  Reusable, too!  

Directions also say to pay attention to how your body reacts to the gut bomb, since you'll have to time your travel to the clinic between rocket blasts.

BTW, since you have to drink a pint of water after the quart of doom, go ahead and sip hot coffee  after you drink each serving of your delicious supper and breakfast.  It cuts the film of nasty out of your mouth, leaving you much more happy about anticipating the rump reaming you're about to enjoy.  

I kinda quit taking notes because I was more irritated than anything about the whole ordeal.  I'll confess, I was almost hoping they'd find something wrong with the insides of my ass just to sort of justify this whole experience.  

There, the secret is out, my bowels are as healthy as can be, or so they say.  Yay.  I think there's still a little problem there, but I'm not going to tell you about it yet.

I think I finally went to bed about 11, it'd been most of an hour since the last explosion, and yes, I did have to change clothes due to "an accident".  Yeah, my house isn't that big,  I guess I shouldn't have been sitting on that bucket. ;)  I got up about 5:30 and took the first dose right away.  2nd dose was  a bit late, I was tempted to gulp all that crap down right away and be done with it, but I was afraid that there could be severe repercussions, so I didn't.  Interestingly, since there really wasn't anything to move on out, there was no more awful-dead-skunk-next-to-a-hog confinement/turkey farm smell.  I didn't know what to expect, and it's a good thing I paid attention to what was going on, because the intake nurse Ratched wanted to know "what my bowel movements were like".  She also asked how I reacted to IV anesthesia, to which I told her the story of my wisdom tooth extraction, long story short I woke up to the pounding of a hammer and chisel in my mouth.  I figgered after that she'd make a note to give me a little extra.  Nope, that was not the case at all.  Clearly she didn't like me and wanted me to experience a little more of the procedure than most. 

By 9:20 when we departed on the long drive to the clinic (.75 mile) I was hungry, had a headache, was grouchy, irritable, and we hadn't even really started yet.  I took my earpod, cranked some tunes, which helped.  Took my dumbly named ebook device, and thankfully didn't really have time to use it much.

Spent way too long with the nurse asking a whole bunch of questions that should have filled in automatically when the form accessed my medical records.  Why doesn't this happen? GRrrrrrrrrr finally to a different room, undress, put on this gown thingy, keep on your shoes and socks.  Sit and wait. 

CUTE little girl tried a couple times to start an IV thing w/o success.  I did find a small bit of my humor when the dude came to help her, she was saying something about getting a good flash; I replied that I certainly had not flashed her, because I couldn't stand the humiliation.  You had to be there.  Too bad you couldn't see me with the robe thingy on, my light blue hat on, earpod thingy blasting into my ears, I almost didn't hear the scope nurse call me.  I could see just fine, though, and the other guy in there didn't jump up, so I did.  This nurse was nicer to me, even though she was going to have to look at my hairy naked ass.  Poor girl, I should have bought her some flowers.   Or chocolate, but maybe with her job she doesn't like chocolate.  I bet her favorite flower is a tulip...she's from Holland MI.  

At the clinic, everyone asks, where are you from.  I always say:  From down by KMart.  They almost always look confused for a minute...and some of those that don't ask "which one".  To which I reply:  there is only one in town. 

There used to be 2, but it closed before I moved here.  I moved here in 1993. Get with it, people.   Live in the PRESENT!

Tiny little doctor came in, introduced herself, blah blah blah, lie on your left side, etc.  They squirted some stuff in the IV thingy and next thing I know, my eyes are open, I can see a tv sort of, kinda blurry and feel a snake prowling around my guts.  I squint at the tv, it's got a large intestine on it and it seems like I could see the snake in there, too.  Sucks having poor eyesight.

I feel them pulling the snake out, which was different, then I may have dozed off, don't know.  I didn't try to move, but I don't think I'd have been able to move.  I didn't feel anything but the snake moving around in my guts. Weird.  When they turned the bed around, I was awake, they commented on it...I said:  I was supposed to ask how I'd get the results?...blah blah.  They gave me more dope...I don't remember a single thing about the upper scope experience, they said that they change the scope, which is good, because it'd probably taste terrible.  I think I remember them saying something about sending some polyps off to pathology, they must have been nothing to worry about.

Woke up in recovery, got dressed, took off.  We went to John Hardy's for lunch, I ate all of mine and luckily they screwed up the taters for Val, so they brought her another set, I ate those too.  I was really very extremely hungry.  Val dropped me off at home, I sat down to do something or read something but went to sleep instead.  I slept for 3 hours or so, and felt pretty good when I woke up.  BTW, I expected to find some sort of lube, but no, nothing.

The first "real B M" post scopey was a rare treat.  That's about all I'll say about that.  Yuck.  Luckily we were in Plainview at the time, so I got to share it with some dude that stuck his head in.  When I was washing afterwards, I saw a can of spray, so I hosed the place down.  Yep, dude, once I flush, my poo smells like potpourri.  I was worried that I'd have another opportunity to perform, but no, I got to take it home.  

The results were delivered via a email message, I wonder if she would have called if it had been bad news?  I hope so.

Take my advice:  pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

 

Culinary experiments

Culinary experiments for the day:

I had a very small buttercup squash and thought it'd be perfect to use the way that my friend Gracie suggested:  stuff it with a meatloaf and bake it.  And that's what I did.

I had bought a pkg of "ground turkey" which I can't imagine that it's ground at all....I'm certain that it's mechanically separated, which means it's pink slime...comes in a tube.  I cut it open, dump it into a bowl.  Into the bowl I added 2 eggs and some warm flat beer.  

I don't know why I added the beer.

I chopped up half an onion, 2 mushrooms, smashed some corn chips, dumped in some seasoned HyVee bread crumbs, seasoned with salt, pepper, and "Canadian chicken" spice blend.  

I also added a small red coloured pepper that Owen gave to me.  I cut off the top, scraped out the seeds, and chopped it up pretty small.  Since it was red I didn't worry too much about it, promptly forgot all about it.  

This Canadian chicken spice blend is the same as Montreal Chicken spice, just a different brand.  I got this at Sam's club because I'm a cheap bastard.

Somehow, before I went into the bathroom, I didn't get washed sufficiently, and found out how hot that pepper was going to be.  I didn't exactly have a burning sensation when I peed, it came later.  If you know what I mean.  

Of course, if I were truly cheap, I'd just use the salt and pepper and suffer with poorly seasoned food.

I washed the little squash, knocked off the stem, and sawed off the bottom of the thing.  Scoop out the seeds, spoon in the meatloaf mix.  To make sure that it didn't rot in the fridge, I dumped the rest into a loaf pan, baked the 2 side by side on a cookie sheet.  

The cookie sheet is actually the lid for a cake pan.

Sadly, since I don't make meatloaf often, I didn't put in quite enough salt.  Nor did I cook it long enough.  :(  Since the loaf pan was not much more than half full, I pulled it out after 40 minutes and turned the squash around just in case the oven has a hot/cold spot.  When it had cooled a bit, I sampled it.  Pretty good, needs more salt.  :(  OH well, easier to add salt than to take it away!

After an hour, I pulled it out, and let it cool a bit.  Put it into a bowl, and sat down to eat.  Couple bites in I see that it's not done.  3 minutes in the microwave took care of it and tested it with the thermometer to make sure.  

Next time?  I think I'd sprinkle a bit of salt in the squash to season it too.  I'd  sprinkle some bread crumbs over the top or corn flakes, something like that.  The loaf held together just fine; I was worried about it being too wet, actually.  I figgered it would not be greasy/oily since the turkey is so lean.

However.

Once I got done eating, scraping out all the squash from the skin...I was still hungry.  Luckily I had some ripe bananas and some apples...since it was time to go back to work, those are bus friendly and quite portable.

Speaking of bananas....

I had 4 of them that were almost too ripe for eating, I ate 2 of them over the course of the afternoon and thought about what to do with the other 2 before they rotted.  

Hmmmmmmwhat to do, what to do?  A banana dessert makes sense, Fogo du Chao makes one that Val loves, so I tried to find a recipe.  No luck, but I found a recipe for something similar.

Peel the bananas, slice.  Throw a chunk of butter into the skillet, coat the slices with brown sugar.  When the skillet is hot, put some in.  Cook until they have some color, turn down heat and flip.  The other side will cook much faster...when all slices are cooked, pour in some bourbon or brandy or cognac or rum; flambe off the alcohol, boil to reduce the sauce.  Pour over the slices or ice cream, or add whipped cream or put onto cereal or oatmeal or pancakes or waffles or french toasty.

Reggie wanted to know if it was Bananas Foster.  No, no it's not.  But is quite close.  And it was delicious!  

Been a busy day in the kitchen...hey, do you want to hear about my scope experience, learn about my medical problems???

Sleep Number bed

Sleep number bed, first impressions and delivery review.

Val went to the state fair and bought a sleep number bed.  Who does weird crap like that?  We do, I guess. What's my sleep number?  Dunno.  Yet.  I've never been in the store, like a lot of people do before buying the bed, and the store personnel suggest having AT LEAST an hour of time to dedicate to the bed buying experience.  

What kind of person wants to sell sleep number beds?  I should go to the store to find out.  Think about this...you will spend an hour or 2 with prospective bed buyers, and you will see them lying down for part of this time.   Gravity changes the appearance of some body parts.

I'm not sure how much it cost, and I'm pretty sure that I don't really want to know.  I do remember spending $1800 for the bed that we've been sleeping on for the last 10/12 years.  (maybe longer)  I recall it being delivered on Memorial Day buy one dude, (they said they'd send 2) so I had to help haul the damn thing up the stairs.  (Heavy)  After a few years of the bed frame sagging, we took the frame out from under the box spring/mattress and pretended we were hippies sleeping on the floor.  No, we didn't take drugs and have wild sex parties...we just pretended to be hippies.  BTW, removing the frame didn't really solve the sagging problem.  :(

I really enjoyed this bed, it was soft and warm in the winter, it was soft and warm in the summer, soft and warm in the spring, soft and warm in the fall.  I did not use copy/paste to do that, and I should have.  Yes, I'm a dumbass.

The Sleep number bed is f'ing cold.  Except when it's hot.  Ok, I'll admit that we have changed blankets at the same time, Val took the white comforter thingy off and put on the quilt her mom made for us last winter.  I'm going to put a fleece blanket under that quilt thing, see if it helps. There's been a couple mornings when I've awakened covered with sweat,  and all I was doing was sleeping.  Maybe I was fast asleep?  Whatever.

We've had it a week now, here's delivery:

Delivery guy called Val, said they'd arrive at 9:30, and assembly should take 46 minutes.  They showed up at 10, left at 11.  Bastards.  They did not introduce themselves, cursed the whole time they were carrying up the parts, complained about the smallness of the house, banging parts and pieces into the door frames, etc.  And when they brought down the old set, they did not install it correctly onto the frame...it overhangs the headboard mounts by several inches...so we'll get to take it apart to fix that.  Yay, more exercise.

When they were done assembling, I hear "uh, we're done up here".  I mutter: does that mean I'm supposed to come up and look at it?  He showed me every page of the book, and inflated both sides to 100.

100 is about as soft as asstroturf on concrete.  I was going to suggest that the asstroturf would be installed in the bed of a Chevy ElCamino, but there you have the hope of a rust hole or a soft spring....and yes, I know I misspelled astroturf.   It's more fun that way.

At bedtime, I found the remote and lowered the setting to 50, they recommend changing it by 5 or 10 at a time.  Screw that, at 50 its about as soft as a good hotel bed, one that I can sleep on w/o waking with a backache.  Dropped to 45, and left it for a while.  I've since lowered it to 40.  

My current problem is that I don't like to lie on the edge of the bed so that my arm falls off.  But if I don't, it's like I'm lying on the side of a hill, which sucks. I did that once camping at Lake Icolda, which is just north of Corning.  The tent didn't have a built in floor, it'd been raining a bit so the ground was kinda wet.  The sleeping bag, clever! had a nylon or vinyl bottom/cloth top so that you'd stay dry and clean, except that since the tent had no floor, and the nylon was slippery, I kept sliding half out of the damn tent, until I turned over so that the cloth was in the mud, then I stayed the rest of the night inside the leaning tent of Icolda.  Yes, I froze that entire time, I hated camping.  

I suppose camping can be fun if you have the right gear, plenty of clothes and you like that sort of thing.  I know, instead of that stupid gif you want a pic of Val in the bed...maybe next week.  

I find that when I'm alone in the bed, and I'm in the center of the ravine, my ass is split by the baffle between the bladders, which must be sort of like wearing a thong.  I'd get one and try it, but you know I'd then have to post a pic of my hairy ass in the thing, and I don't want you to have to bleach your eyes, so I'll skip that entire experiment.

You're welcome.

I can't imagine what it'd be like if one of us liked it set at 75 and the other at 40...it'd be like having a mesa and a canyon in the same 5' wide bed.  Could make for some interesting/painful/inventive/frustrating rumpy pumpy.  I will just imagine how that would be....with my knee sliding off the hard side onto the soft side, plunging to my near death experience, spraining/straining several somethings in the process.  That would be an interruptus moment, to say the least.

So, a week in, I can't yet tell you to go buy a sleep number bed.  We've got 3 weeks to keep trying it before we can't send it back, we may have to call customer support or visit the store, to see if the grand canyon can be mitigated.  Feel free to share your experiences, esp if you have a sleep number bed thingy.  What's your number??

What I've done this month.

What did you do on your summer vacation?  I think we've already talked about that, so I'll tell you what I've been doing these past couple weeks.

Making people mad, mostly.  Here's how to make people mad: 

1.  Post an opinion on the internet.  
2.  wait

I've lost at least 3 FB friends, which is no loss at all, since they were not friends.  The funny thing?  I didn't insult them, call them names, nothing like that.  They called me names...and all 3 are liberal.

Enough of that.

I finished the bathroom improvement...at least for now.  There is still some work I should do;  I need to take the light back down and do some more patching around it, but I don't know when I'm going to do that.  Here's a list of what I did:

• remove border, old light, wooden towel bars
• scrape peeling paint
• wash walls and ceiling
• prime all bare/scraped areas
• skim coat all low areas, spots where the paint peeled
• smooth mud
• prime those areas
• paint:  3 colours...upper walls and ceiling white.  lower walls blue/green, trim dark blue/green
• paint again  :(
• paint trim again
• sand, stain and varnish secondary cabinet
• prime and then paint vanity cabinet
• caulk several areas
• touch up paint
• install chair rail
• remove one section of the chair rail, patch areas where the paint pulled off
• tape to paint area where the chair rail won't work :(
• install towel bars
• alter light switch plate to fit around towel bar :(
• rehang tp holder, magazine rack, curling iron/hair drier thingy, rehang door

Yeah, it took forever.  Of course, if I'd been more organized, it would have gone faster.  If I had been more motivated, it'd have gone faster.  

I like the colors, I like the chair rail thingy, I like the light and the towel bars, so long as they stay up.  

Here's what else I've done in the last couple weeks.  It's a partial list and not much compared to those of you that are workaholics:

• painted half of the front of the garage
• caulked a window
• planted a few mums
• caulked around the garage door and back door
• pulled the walk in garage door off and sanded/painted it
• patch some concrete where Val backed into the garage and destroyed the foundation
• motorcycle repair and oil change
• wash motorcycle
• motorcycle rides X 5
• pickup oil change and some repair
• reconfigure basement lights
• break fluorescent tube in basement :(
• go thru paint supply and throw out what's no good
• patch hole in sheet rock
• fill crack in driveway
• of course this doesn't include all the other stuff, like scooping the litter box, washing the dishes, grocery shopping, laundry, working, etc.

I've lost track of how many times I've cleaned my paint brush, good thing I mostly use latex paint.  Remember on FB I was bragging up the good paint in a plastic bucket?  18 year old paint, Pittsburgh brand.  We painted the upstairs of our house before we moved in with this stuff, I was amazed that what was left in the can was still good.  That said...several quart cans of paint that are newer but have been opened several times in the interim were not good and have been thrown away.  Some of my gallon cans also weren't good; the steel cans let the paint dry out.  Kind of weird.

Next up:  more garage paint, window maintenance, mower storage, week whacker storage, snow blower startage, car oil change, Val motorcycle oil change, patio clean up, AL can sale, and maybe 2 more things.  maybe.

Davis Rally review

Davis Rally review; always the weekend after Labor Day.  New Hampton IA, which is very close to Waverly, which is where you don't want to go for dinner.

Owen and Virginia wanted to go early, they had an appt to get their new bike personalized at 8, so we left home at 6.  It was dark and cold at 6, and still cold at 7, just in case you were wondering.  How cold was it?  Mid 40's, going 60 mph....makes for cold fingers!  We made the journey w/o stopping for anything other than for Virginia to put on her face mask, she has no whiskers.

We got there, paid our fee, got our wristbands, entered and parked.  There were only 2 or 3 other bikes in the lot, and turns out we knew the owners of 2 of them.  Steve/Lonesomedog from the 202 riding club strolled over seconds later on his way to the latrine and coffee vendor.  Owen took his bike over to the shelter where Lynus was to chickenscratch all over the new bike while we rested and changed jackets and shoes.  

Owen's new bike is blue, and decided to let the painter feller pick all the colours.  Painter did ask:  what colour do you want next...and I shouted out: Magenta!  Yep, worked good, too.  I could be a metrosexual, I'm sure of it.  

We walked downtown for breakfast at the senior center, about a mile, I suppose.  Buffet for $9, scrambled eggs, sausage, taters, fruit, coffee cake, muffins, juice, milk, coffee; it was pretty much worth the cost.  We sat with Steve and Bob, the 202 fellers.

Owen and Virginia hot-footed their way back to the rally to watch the feller paint the bike...can't blame them for that...fun to watch them, like kids in a candy store on Christmas morning.  I don't think I took pics of the painting, but I did take pics of some panties at a vendor's tent.  I may post them.

When we returned, we found our friends again, and walked the vendor row, seeing what there was to see.  I was looking for a few things, like a throttle lock for Val's bike, something else and one other thing that I don't remember now.  We looked at trailers, and could have bought one, just $3,000.  We didn't spend that much for the trailer that we can put both bikes on, along with a whole bunch of other crap, like oh hell, you don't care about that, do you?

Finally, the paint is dry, and we go for a ride.  We spend 6 minutes looking at a map and set off.  I keep telling people, you don't need to invest a huge amount of time planning a ride.  Just pick a direction and GO!  It was a great ride, Owen and Virginia led, since she can read a map while riding with him, it was wonderful.  We got back just in time for dinner, which was good, got parked for the parade, which was short, and the parade participants clearly did not understand.  

If you are driving in a parade:  GO SLOW!!!  If you are watching a parade, and a colour guard comes by, STAND UP.  Take off your hat.  Didn't you learn this in kindergarten?

Parade over, wind died down.  holy hell, it was windy for a little while...go to Kwik Star for gas and restroom, head home.  Owen and Val nearly hit a live skunk, all in all, it was a great day.  

Restaurant review:  The Fainting Goat, Waverly, IA

A not so perfect place in a nearly perfect town.

Very accurate.  Waverly is a lovely town.  Clean, lots of businesses in the downtown area, seems to be a wonderful place.  Read on to learn about the Goaty place.

I rode my motorcycle down to IA for a party at a friends house and on the return trip I stopped for a late lunch at this goat place in Waverly.  Here's the menu cover:

It's always a dilemma for me...use the flash and get some glare or not use it and maybe it won't show up.  It was really dark in there....maybe because I'd been outside all day in the bright sunshine....or maybe it was just really dark.  I guess if you sit in there staring at the tv throwball games, you don't need lights.

The sign says Seat Yourself.  I find a clean table and do just that.  The waiter twerp (those in the know, knows what this means) comes over to get my drink order, water, and also wants to know what I want to eat.  I need a minute, since this is my first time here, dumbass.

Interesting menu, although it gets annoying that they use an ' instead of an e in the word chicken or drunken or dipped.  Sure, occasionally it is cute or fun.  When he finally comes back, I order the big pig pork tenderloin sandwich thingy.  Batter'd or broil'd, he wanted to know.  Comes with chips, but for a measly $2.....chips will be fine.  Or so I thought.

So I'm a cheap bastard.  Sue me.  Actually, don't sue me, just make fun of me if you must.

The water came with ice, which is appropriate.  It also came with a straw.  Have you ever tried to hoover up a fresh chocolate shake thingy from Wendy's using their normal sized straw?  Yeah, you suck for a while, a pain forms behind your eyes, your ear drums collapse, your throat constricts....so when you finally get some out of the cup, it has nowhere to go.  The straw that come in the water was like that.  So I poured the water into my Denny's cup that I've been using on the bus and on the bike for several years.  It has a matching red straw that is quite stylish and sophisticated.  It does clash with the bike, but nothing is perfect.

Figgered that the twerp would refill my water glass, since it was empty.  Nope.

No, really, the chips were fine, but they must employ a 5 year old midget dwarf  that has hands the size of Tinkerbell's thimble, and is only allowed to give me one handful.  The basket came pretty quickly, and the sandwich had lettuce, tomato and onion on it...believe it or not, the tomato was pretty much ripe, too.  The onion wasn't too strong, quite good...and the lettuce was green!  The meat was well cooked, not over cooked and flavorless.

That's right, folks, before you cook meat, you should season it.  A little salt and pepper before breading would have improved the taste and enjoyability of the sandwich a great deal.  Adding salt and pepper after gets it done, too, but hey....it's the cook's job.  Lazy bastard.

I finish, go to the restroom to do restroom things....what a DUMP!  No, not like at the gas station where the fucker didn't flush the toilet, I mean like:  the sink is cracked, the counter top is covered with dirty water, the divider walls are missing from between the urinals, and the stall is caved in next to the toilet.  The walls are covered with graffiti.  

Again, finally....I don't know what twerpy was doing all day, he only had 2 tables, and he wasn't serving me...he came back with the bill.  "How was everything?"  Everything???

"the sandwich was unseasoned, my waterglass is empty and the restroom is a dump."

"oh"

I gave him my Discover card, he went away.  Probably wrote down the number, came back. "we don't take Discover....we accept Visa, Mastercard, Super America, American Express, Lane Bryant, Kohls, Citgo, Diner's club, and went on to name every other card in the world that I don't have.  Annoying.

No tip.  If he'd filled my water glass, I'd have given him a tip and not complained about the other stuff.  I was thirsty, damn it!  90 degrees, 250+ miles...6 hours, in the sun, uphill both ways in the blinding blizzard...

Recap:  dark, throwball games (no sound), poor service, half decent food, bad restroom.  

Pretty sure I won't go back, unless I find some review that shows I'm wrong/had an abnormal experience.

Bloggy post 101.  Re-introduction?  No, probably not.

If you sense I've lost interest in this bloggy thingy, you are mostly correct...I'm having a very hard time coming up with interesting crap for you to read about.  

I could tell you about my woodshop, how it's about 1/3 cleaned up.  I need some buckets or bins or shelves or something before I finish. 

Turns out there's a box of booze like stuff on the floor in the middle, pretty much right in the way.  It's been there way too long, but I work around it, pile more stuff on top of it.  I know it has a bottle of margarita mix in it, probably has a bottle of tequila in it.  We've talked about that, right?  It has some wine, maybe some grenadine.  Pretty sure any whiskey or vodka has been removed and consumed.  I've got a dog food sack full of cans, bottles, jars etc that I thought might be useful.  I've got a box full of containers that I got when I was making soaps, lotions, potions, salves and the like.  At the rate I'm using them, I've got enough for the next 578 years.  I doubt I'll live that long.

I've got some cans of paint that have been there pretty much since we moved in, when I was working for a paint store.  The cans are not aging well...probably time to move the lot to the recycle center.  Or dump it all into a 5 gallon bucket and paint the living room, hallway, bedrooms/office.  I don't mind the painting...but I don't like the prep/moving all the stuff!  

I should just haul a lot of the wood scraps out and burn them.  I always think I'll find a use for them, and sometimes I do, but....there they sit, for the most part.  I should find a project that uses small bits of oddly shaped pieces.  Ideas??

Need to complete 2 suitcase repairs...one has a broken bracket, one has a bad zipper pull and a decorative doodad is coming off.  They don't build that stuff like they used to, for sure.

Bored yet?

  

Rule #4 for blogging is to add pics if the audience is bored.  They don't have to pertain to anything.  But these pics are from an event we went to last year, but may not go to this year.  :(

This morning I went down to my woodshop to make something for you.  As I went down the stairs, I pondered what wood to use.  Should I use oak?  I think the only oak I have is either strips of flooring that I salvaged from a dumpster or was given to me by some guy that I don't know any more.  

No, not oak, this should be special.

Here's a piece of maple...it's about the right width, length, kind of thin, but would work.  I can't remember where it came from, it's no good for this project.

Here's some walnut.  Heavy, thick, beautiful wood.  It's special, too, I got that log from my Grandpa's farm and had it sawn at the same time as that ash log. Oh, here's a piece of ash, the right size.  The ash came from the farm where I grew up....wish I had some mulberry...that's beautiful wood.  Crap in one hand, wish in the other, see which one fills up first.  Use the ash.

How to make a wooden object.  It's probably on youtube and wikipedia, but sometimes I like to make my own stuff, my plans, my rules, etc.  Choose which end for the handle, now...how big should the handle be?  I traced the outline of the handle of my favorite carving knife...that's woodcarving knife, not ham/roast beast carving knife...that's just slicing!

The board is thinner than the knife, so I draw it a little wider to make up for that.  I can always glue on some strips to make it thicker.  To the band saw, which is kind of sick, but still works.  I regret getting this size of saw, it's too small and limiting.  I persevere, and make it work, as I always do.  One side is always easier to cut out than the other side, but it looks ok.  I'll have to do a little more sanding.  

I take it to the router table, it's already got the roundover bit in it, so I check the thickness/depth level, and it's ok.  I round over each side of the paddle, but not the handle....I'm going to use my knife for that.  Hmmmm kind of splintered/tore out on that one corner...bit must be getting dull.  No big deal, I'll just trim it a tiny bit and sand it smooth....if she notices or comments it'll earn her an extra whack.

Where the hell is my sander?  Oh, yes, it's in the garage.  Exercise is good for me, right?  Right.  Start with 80, sand all sides, switch to 120, 150, 180 and finally 220.  I'm sanding nearly non stop for 90 minutes, the sander is hot and vibrating...I know some girls that would like to sit on this thing. Some guys will sand on up to 400 grit, but that's ridiculous, since we're going to be putting some varnish on this thing. 

 

What varnish to use?  Spray varnish, poly or lacquer?  Tung oil?  Brush on some varnish, poly or lacquer?  Gloss or semi gloss?  Water based?  Water white?  My old fashioned standby....spar varnish.  Used forever on boats, it's one of my favorite finishes.  Glossy and smooth, this thing will be beautiful.

Kelly's birthday party:  wish I had some pics...

Not because anyone got drunk and fell in the lake, but because our waitress exemplified the fancy ass pants that I wrote about earlier this year.  Of course, I don't know her ethnic heritage, but like so many in this area she's probably half German and half Norwegian.  Tall, slender, blonde and beautiful, I'm pretty sure she was wearing a wonder bra, and those jeans....it'd take a few pics to do them justice.  

Friends, her ass was covered with sparkly jewels, Swavrosky would be jealous.   Whatever the name is, you know who/what I mean.  I mean her cheeks were crusted with these things, and she wore them well.  It was raining, we were standing outside because Kelly had rented the deck thingy so we could watch the ski show and eat dinner and drink beer.  A proper MN birthday celebration.  It actually sounds like a redneck celebration, but it was shaping up to be fun, except for the rain.

I know what you're saying....yah, yah, this is all  fine and dandy, but who the hell is Kelly?

Kelly is one of the many people that came into my life thanks to my interest and continued offering of massage.  She's one of the few that has stayed in my life after receiving the massage...continuing to get one every chance she gets.  

I met Kelly thru the FB phenomena thingy, a mutual friend was posting about massage, I posted some sort of response, Kelly responded, we worked out some details; she came over, got naked (yes, I was in a different room) and on the table, have not been able to get rid of her since.  :)  

Anyway....Kelly had a birthday, which is not unusual in or of itself, most of us do have a birthday each and every year.  Those of you that don't....sorry to be the one to tell you....but you are dead.

Kelly is now 35.  So she's organized a party.  She invited us and a bunch of people that we didn't know....which is ok, it's fun to meet new people.  The party got moved inside when the ski show was cancelled, much to the chagrin of the old people trying to shout at each other over their dinner; but we were able to annoy them just enough to get lots of dirty looks.

OH, crap, I forgot what my message was.  OH, yeah, happy birthday!

Posting #99

It's been a long time in the works...mainly because there's several things to post:

• I need to finish the MI trip from last year
• I need to finish the regional review
• I just got back from a 10 day ride in CO
• I could update you on my neck/shoulder
• We could talk about cancer...a friend has some again.

Or I could just post some pics.

Computer isn't working with the ext hard drive right now.  Did I mention I got a new computer?  Yep, from a one sale a day place, $5 shipping.  It has Windows 7, which I don't yet like.  May never like it.  Wonder if I install Chrome again, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Did a back up from the old computer onto the ext hard drive in July, wonder if I can access those files?  Mostly pics and books, which I think I copied over seperately. 

2012 Regional ride review, Saturday, day 2.

I woke early and stumbled to the shower.  Showers in a new environment are always a challenge for me, for a couple of reasons.  I'm unwilling to make a mess, so I take my glasses off and get right in there.  Then I can't see any instructions on the valve, so it's trial and error before I get the temp right.  I don't often get scalded, but when I do, you can bet that I curse. The shower was pretty nice, a good size, and a high shower head with decent pressure.  Ok, ok.  Enough of me being naked in front of all you nice people!  (There's your daily appetite suppressant.)

I get ready and go outside.  Greg is out there, drinking coffee and watching the clouds cover up the sun.  He snaps some pics and we chat a bit.  I wander around a little, head in to the breakfast room for some coffee, and to see what they have.  I see raw bacon, gravy and pop tarts.  I grab a pack of them for us for later, head back out to uncover the bike, etc.

I don't know why we bothered to cover the bikes...the covers are not waterproof, so I had to wipe them down as if they weren't covered.  Yes, remember....I went to bed when the rain started last night.  I put my towel over my dead sheep to dry it off, wiped the windshields, seats, etc.  Cleaned my visor and sunglasses, too.  About 8 I ride it out front so we can head to breakfast at the casino.  We left in groups, unorganized, no problem, it's only a mile and no one got lost.  I took my sheepskin off my seat...looks like it's going to rain some more.  Lynn hung her helmet by the helmet lock on her front tire, the helmet hangs upside down there.  (bad idea)

We went in, paid, commenced eating...I think maybe 10 minutes after we arrived it was raining hard.  Very hard.  Lynn's helmet is filling up.  BTW, the breakfast buffet there is $6.  Anything you want to drink....pop, coffee, juice, milk, any combination therein.  Eggs any way you want them.  Pancakes, waffles, ham, bacon, sausage, fruit, pudding, toast, etc.  It's a good value.  Pretty soon, Bubba and Bubblebug came in, pretty wet.  That'll teach them!  Show up on time!!!  Steve called to find out the plan, they got there before we left, and in time to show off Julie's new towel.

Lynn's helmet was totally soaked, of course, and she wasn't going to wear it, but then decided that she should.  Not sure how much fun that was, but it had to be better than bare headed when the rain set in on our ride.  There were several folks w/o helmets and rain suits...I think it'd be pretty uncomfortable to be wet all day, and to not be able to see.

The ride was good, lunch at Milty's was good, the secondary ride was good.  We went up on top of the mountain in Lansing, it was a very interesting ride up and down the hill...very steep.

Dinner tonight is provided by the motel, burgers and hotdogs, cole slaw and macaroni salad.  They also provided a cooler full of Old Milwaukee beer.  If that won't entice you to join us next year, I don't know what will.

Since it had rained, we started a fire, that was kind of fun.  Hey, what happens at the fire, stays at the fire.

Lemonade and bourbon, finished the bottle...mmmmmmmmm

2012 SCRC 171 Regional review  Friday July 13.

Once again, our event was based in McGregor IA, at Holiday Shores motel.  The day began with a rain delay; we left about 30 minutes late.  The ride started off fairly boring, just zooming down  a major highway.  Not interstate major, just a 2 lane highway that went directly where I wanted to lead my group.  It's somewhat scenic, but not very challenging.  My plan was to ride 45 miles and then get gas; the total miles for the day would be 145, so that leaves plenty of room for error (of which there were none).  I thought I screwed up, but more about that later.

So that's what happened.  We pulled off into Harmony after riding in rain for about 20 miles.  Top off the gas tank, empty the pee tank, refill the hydration tank, head on thru Harmony and straight south into Iowa.  Right after fueling, I clean my glasses and windshield; road dirt is not nice to look thru, and with 2 pair of glasses, a visor and a windshield....there can be a lot of it.  AlGore gets an honorable mention for microfiber cloths. 139 is a nice scenic enjoyable road, if only they'd tune it up a bit by grinding off some of those high spots which only serve to hurt me.

Next stop is the world's smallest church, located on a gravel road, in the worlds smallest park.  Ok, that part is not true, there are parks that are smaller.  It was nice, though, lots of trees and a tiny cemetery.  There's a corn field next to the place...it's obvious that there's been no rain there for a long time...the stalks are fired up to the first leaves, the other leaves are rolled up tight enough for Cheech to smoke.  Val bought a postcard, we took some pics, walked around the park, signed the guest book thingy and left.

I'm familiar with rich folks along gravel roads using some substance to stop dust....we never used it, because we weren't rich, plus we were right on a corner which required a good slowdown.  Plus we had a nice tall hedge along the edge of the yard, at least we had one until Jill decided we should cut it down.  Did I ever mention that she's a dumbass?  She could be a Murphy, believe it or not.  (If you're new to the bloggy world, read all previous episodes.....but I'll tell you now that Jill is a former step-monster, er stepmother.)  (Murphys are cousins that didn't amount to much, except for one of them.)

There were a couple places along this gravel road that had applied a dark brown substance across the entire surface of the road (so I know it wasn't a "honey wagon" spill) plus it kind of smelled good, sort of like freshly cut wood, oak or walnut.  I kept the speed down to keep the dust down, and I'm sure that the others appreciated that.

Next stop is lunch, and someone had to ask how far it was.  mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmI don't  really know.  Val had taken the route so she could have directions, she puts mileage on hers....but screwed up the math and said 17 miles.  HA.....it was closer to an hour.  It was in fact, further than I expected and remembered.  In fact, I was beginning to think I had screwed up....but I knew we were in the right area, and forged on confidently.

I've got to say....while these were not the most twisty of roads, they were the fun fast sweeping curvy scenically awesome roads that make the day quite enjoyable, even though it is hot and humid.

Lunch was at St Olfa's Tap, a bar that has the world's largest pork tenderloin.  No one was gluttonous enough to order the giant thing....I got the medium and it was plenty.  Duane ordered chicken gizzards, partly because he likes them and partly to get others to try them.  Kind of like chewing a peppered pencil eraser.  Val and I shared a side of sweet corn nuggets.  They were everything we hoped they could be.

I don't know why they have painted the men's restroom black.  Kind of spooky.

Speaking of spooky, next stop is the Spook cave, a 35 minute boat tour thru a cave.  A fast way to spend $10, a nice way to cool off:  47 degrees, the water was 42.  They use original boats from the mid 50's, so I suppose all the money goes to profit after paying the annoying tour guide.  It was a short ride to the cave, everyone seemed to enjoy it, esp Duane and Lynn, sitting in the back of the boat.  I, of course, bonked my head and nearly lost my hat, and there was some concern that leaning way over was going to aggravate my neck, but it was fine.

It was a very short ride from the cave to the motel, and we pulled into the gas station next door to gas up; that way we'd be ready for anything.  The apocalypse did not occur, but a big rain storm did, which prevented some folks from fueling on Saturday morning.  (they lost power!)  Luckily, no one had a really short tank, so no fun stories of running out of gas...

Check in, change out of wet socks and boots into dry socks and shoes, line up to ride to dinner about 545.  Dinner was rather unremarkable, really, so we hauled ass back to the motel to break out the bourbon.  I mixed mine with pink lemonade, which is really pretty good....in my opinion.  Kind of a PIA, bottle of lemonade, bottle of bourbon, insulated cup.  A cooler full of beer would be easier, I guess, but then you have to deal with empties, and peeing all the time.

NE IA has been as dry as a popcorn fart for about a month, so there's a burn ban...no bonfire in the fire pit.  It's not as if we need the fire to keep warm....so it's ok.  Lots of us gathered in the grassy area to tell lies, fibs, and stories until it's bed time.  What time is bed time?  Whatever time you want to go to bed...we're all adults, after all.  Turns out bed time was when the rain started...at least for me.  That's about 11 for those of you that were not there.

You don't need to know too many more details about my night and early morning, and that's all I'm going to say about that.  If I can find my camera and get the other camera to work, I'll post some pics.  grrrr  Greg has posted some on the FB thingy, if you're lucky enough to be connected there.....

Shoulder/neck discussion...problem started 6/29/12

It's because I'm such a nice guy.  I feel it's the right thing to do...turn to look at and greet each person as they get on the bus.  Seems like a simple thing, right?  Painless, easy, no charge for the extra courtesy??

About half way thru my shift I noticed some pain in my right shoulder and neck, so I took some Advil and looked forward to getting busy with my theracane when I got home.

Now you know what a thera cane is.  Don't you love learning things by reading my ramblings?  About $30, by the way.  The theracane inserted much like that picture shows generally releases what's wrong, thusly allowing me to carry on as normal.  It didn't work this time.  OH well, not to worry, sometimes that happens.  Over the weekend it got worse, and I should have found a good massage person, but I didn't.  Tuesday I called a chiropractor dude I have known for a number of years and actually trust....

There's 2 types of crackropractors in this world, those that are interested in helping people feel better and those that are interested in making a lot of money.  IF you go to a crackropractor suffering from some sort of pain, and they make you fill out a bunch of papers, make you submit to a bunch of Xrays, and won't treat you the first visit, you've found the latter sort of bastard.  Other cues:  you arrive and there's LONG lines of people, there's several treatment rooms all in a row, there's a chiro asst that comes around to talk to you, the chiro always does 4-5 "adjustments", you have to go in for a "report of findings" and get fed a long line of bs which amounts to this:  "for me to save your life, you have to come in 3x/week for the rest of your life, which will cost ______ much"  the chiro won't say how much, it'll just point to the number on the page, because the person in the next "room" (which has no doors, ceiling or complete walls) may be paying more or less.

Another sign you've found a scammer chiro is that once you're in, it only spends a few seconds with you, and does a lot of huffing and puffing.  If you find one of these bastards, run, run for your life.  And for your bank account...and they will take your credit card.

The chiro you want is a one person office.  No xrays, no scam, no rof, same day treatment, and usually can get you in the same day as you call.  They'll only adjust what needs adjusting, and may not accept credit cards.

Maybe you're thinking...."but but but without an xray, how will they know what is wrong?".  I'll answer that with this:  have you ever been to the doc's office for blood tests?  Those people can feel your vein and stab that sucker with a tiny needle.  Your bones are much bigger and easier to feel than that.  I can't really think of a good reason for a chiro to have an xray.  Ultrasound, maybe, to see if there is soft tissue damage.

One more thing:  if they say they need to treat your neck because it's too straight, but don't talk about your worksite.....they're scamming you.

Jim did some testing to determine a few things, had me lie down on the table thingy, he took my head and neck in his hands, and gave it a mighty twist.  Poppoppop.  Lie there a minute, and he does it again.  That should help.  But it didn't.

I suffer thru Wednesday, I've got a cramp/spasm in the side of my neck which is triggering a nerve that goes into my shoulder, arm and hand.  When that sucker fires...it hurts like hell!  Unless I'm able to get my left hand up and give that damn neck a good squeeze.  Which what I had to do all of Friday night and Saturday morning.  Constantly reaching up to squeeze didn't allow much sleep.  Went to see a doctor Saturday morning...

Great nurse...except she used the small/regular cuff to take my blood pressure.  That is never accurate, and I'm sure it was elevated due to the amount of irritation that was going on in my neck.

BUT.  I did't see a doctor.  I saw a nurse practioner.  (spell check does not like that word)  She was great, too.  A real trip.  Young, cute, pregnant, I didn't mind seeing her at all.  She did waste some of my money by making me go for xrays, but she also Rx'd some pills to help the spasms go away and one for the pinched irritated annoyed nerve.

I don't know what the difference is between an LNP and a MD, because the LNP's seem to know as much as any doctor I've seen, plus they have a personality.  She sent in an order to get scheduled with the PT dept.  Desk is closed, they'll call me with the time.

I hope you're enjoying this, imagining me sitting in my chair, not sleeping, squeezing my neck so that my arm doesn't hurt.  How I managed to work 4 days last week I do not know.

So, PT called me, first available is Aug 6.  HA.  Val called the doctor lady, she called PT and said:  "listen, you fuckers.  my name tag says LNP, but I'm as good as any other blonde doctor person, so schedule that poor fat bastard for tomorrow, or else!"  That must be what she said, because I was to go in on Tuesday morning as an "extra", which meant I'd sit around until someone had time to see me.  Little did I know it'd be with some "physical medicine doctor".  He was ok, though, and did some testing and a little poking.  Yep, pinched nerve, you need pt, so go out to the desk and make an appt.  I'm thinking:  that was a waste of my time.

So back out I go to schedule, and wouldn't you know it? They have a PT available at 1030.  A mere hour away!  yay!

About 10:50, I went up to the desk and ask.  Oh, she's just running a little late, should be any minute now.

Friends...this is not a good sign.  BTW, her name was "Lola", which was shortened from Omolola.  Yes, friends, she had an accent, I had a rather difficult time understanding her as she lectured me for a long time about posture.  Then she left for 5 minutes to "put her next client on a machine".  She then demonstrated some stretches and talked for a while about traction, but didn't have time to put one on me.  She did have me lie down on the table so she could feel around a bit, and I have no doubt that if she'd make hands on her primary focus and forget the machines and stretches that no one does she'd be more successful.  This too was a tremendous waste of my time.

Saw something a little bit funny while she was gone for that 5 or 15 minutes...a guy that was missing some of his leg had crutched his way in and was waiting while I was waiting.  Now, while she was gone, the door was left open, so I looked out into the gym area, this big guy had on a prosthesis leg thingy, and was crutching his way back and forth while a little guy using a cane was chasing him, telling him: heel to toe, both feet...follow the line....etc.  The funny part is that this little guy with the cane always had his hand up near the bigger guy's back where there was a belt around him.  I can understand all of that...but what I don't understand is how this little guy (with a CANE) was going to catch and stop a bigger guy from falling???

BTW, as soon as I heard that my PT's name was "Lola", I couldn't get that 60's/70's song out of my head.   I think it's by the Kinks.

I then went to the twin cities, Bloomington, to be specific, to see Keith at Body Work Physical Therapy.  Anyone in or near the Minneapolis/StPaul area that needs to see a PT?  These are the people to see.  Even if you have to drive a distance...these people use myofascial release and craniosacral therapy to treat people, and it works.  Talking about posture and doing stretches doesn't work.  Hands on therapy, finding the source of the pain works.

BTW, FWIW, I do know how to practice myofascial release.

How do I know it works?  Last night after this treatment, I was able to type that bloggy post, this morning I was able to shower and then do some laundry and wash some dishes...translation?  I was able to work about an hour, using the right arm as normal w/o having to clamp my left hand to my neck to stop the spasm.

How do I know it works?  I've used MFR to treat quite a few people that tried other methods to kill pain without results.  A nurse that had a spinal tap was in serious pain, yet after my treatment was pain free.  A client had pain in her hip for quite some time before seeing me, is still pain free 4 years later.  A colleague went to a chiro, the ER for drugs suffered for days before coming to see me.  And all she had done was empty the dishwasher...she was pain free after my treatment.

Why did I wait so long before I got help?  I tried to get in with a couple of MFR therapists that I know, but they were either out of town or booked.  I didn't want to drive an hour to see another one that I know.  Driving hurts, remember?  I have an appt with one tomorrow, Thursday.  I think I'll take the motorcycle up there, just to see how it goes.

We've got a weekend trip planned with the bikes...need to be well.....

A letter to an unhappy customer:


Dear Hot Air Return Vent,

What the hell kind of name is that?  How do you expect decent well run business' like ours to treat you with dignity and respect when we can't say your name without laughing our asses off?

You should know from all the tv commercials that if you have special eyes, you can't just expect any contacts to fit.  Another thing, we have not sent your contacts because we know that you'll just wear them to surf porn web sites; we just can't have that.  Think of the kittens in Latvia!  Think of the pygmies in New Guinea.

When was the last time you washed your eyes, anyway?  We sure know that we'd like to wash your mouth out with some industrial grade soap.  We know it won't help; you're a potty mouth from way back...anyone can see that.

For the record, none of our mothers wear army boots.

And, no, dumbass, you can't use your old contacts as tooth whitening strips.  I realize that you have only one tooth and the contact fits perfectly.  Just.........no.

You are also not to use these quality contacts as pasties.  Not even if you make them opaque with a sharpie marker, trying to make them look like eyes won't work.  However, if you must do this, be sure to use super glue, you don't your pasties to fall off at the wrong moment, you could go to jail.

I realize that going to jail will fulfill a major sexual fantasy for you, but since this is a family friendly company, that's all we're going to say about that.

Did you really think that calling us 14 times each day would endear us to you?  If so, you were wrong...very wrong.  In fact, we have caller id.  And we have post it notes, thanks to AlGore's dedication and hard work...you see, what we did is we put your stinky phone number on a post it for each customer service person, so we could give you our very best customer service experience.

Clearly you don't understand how to make contacts.  For special eyes like yours, we go to the dollar store and buy a few shower curtains, take out our hole punch, scrape as much rust off of it as will come off and punch those bastards out.  this is why you have to pay for the exam, the follow up, the contacts, the fittings, the Rx, the shipping and the handling.  $69 for each of those items...which should fit into your fantasy land world quite well.

Oh, and did you know?  We know that you're a cheap bastard, but you can not use the same fungicide to clean your cooter as your contacts.  9 out of 10 contact customer service reps recommend:

Good luck, special eye Hot Air Return Vent.

ok, so I lied, just a little.  neck and shoulder #1

I think this pain came on while driving a shuttle bus.  Since I'm such a nice guy, I turn to greet each person as they get on.

I had pain lifting my head straight up, I had pain turning left, pain turning right.  But most troubling was the neck spasms causing my right arm to go numb, loose all strength and hurt like crazy.  Was?  Still is.  It just happened, and the only way to stop it is to reach up with my left hand and clamp my neck, sort of like a python squeezing a pig that it intends to eat.

This spasm thingy will happen, was happening any time, all the time.  Getting ice from the freezer, putting the pitcher of lemonade back into the fridge, pulling up my shorts after a trip to the loo, etc.  Pretty sure Friday night it was every minute; I don't think I slept more than 2 hours.  :(

I may get in to see Mayo's PT dept tomorrow/Tuesday.  I will get in to see my friends Keith at BWPT clinic in Bloomington, I figger....might as well go to see someone I know, someone I KNOW to be very good.

Sometimes I think that if I could just get busy with a task I'd forget about the pain and spasm and it'd go away.  It works when my neck clamps down and gives me a headache.

Typing does cause this spasm thingy to occur, so appreciate this.  uh oh, wife's shutting it down.

Since it's hotter than a $30 whore this week,

I've been spending time in my basement shop cleaning throwing out and organizing.  Yes, indeed, constant readers....a day in the basement is much like a day in the garage, except there are stairs involved.  Here's a reminder from FB:


A day in the garage is a lot like having ADD...spend some time with the motorcycle, hey, what's in that box? I wonder if those extension cords work? What the hell is that? Why is this in here? Where is that flux capacitor? Shouldn't there be a shelf there? Should put a light here. Maybe I should change the oil. Better pour those jugs of windshield wiper juice together, make room on the shelf for for the ice melt. Did I put StaBil in the snowblower? It's exhausting, but the weather man says no chance of snow today.


My basement is a mess, friends.  It's been a long long time since I've done any real work down there, and it should stay clean, right? Nope.  I'll get something out, do a project, walk away.  I'll take something down there, put it on the bench or on the floor, walk away.  Shove it aside to do a project, clean it up later.  


Jeesus Christ, it's hot outside.  It's a good thing my grill is in the shade.  


Here's why a day in the basement is like having ADD.


Get coffee, head down and turn on the lights, sit down to survey the situation.  
Is there such a thing as a $30 whore?


where is that fan?  Maybe I should clear off the table saw.  I built the bench for the saw, you know, since it has a teeny tiny table, and I wanted a longer/wider table.  I had actually built a massage table before buying my table, and so I just re-purposed it.  Who cares about that, why isn't the radio on?  Seems like Susie's 1990 boom box's digital tuner stopped tuning.  Fine, I've got a 1988 boomy box, I'll move it to the basement.  Hey, Susie's has an antennae still.  Wonder if that'll work.....it does!  My boomy box thingy has not had an antennae for 24 years.  Huh, I don't remember bringing that old iron down here, let's take it apart.  It has an interesting switch and a decent cord, put that in the box with all the others............oh, maybe it's time to get rid of this light I brought home in 1999...take it apart, may need the screws sometime somewhere...wonder if this light bulb works, better test it.....yep, it's good.


Pick up this, pick up that, what's in that box.  Oh, I've been looking for that for a while.  Better combine a few boxes of crap, I guess I could toss the toaster box, warranty has expired.  Trash can is full, better go dump that.  Sort the recycles out, go check FB.


30 minutes later, back downstairs, oh, here's some snaps, better put those in the right box.  Where the hell is the trash can?  OH.  crap.


Maybe I'll sort thru these magazines.  Wood magazine, you perverts.  As in wood working....I take a minute to ponder if there'd be any value at the used book store.  I find an old magazine with the cover price of .35........I paid 50 cents for it 10 years ago.  Hmmmmmmm.  Do I want to fool with it?  No.  To the recycle bin.  Ah, yes, the trash can.  Toss that sucker down the stairs.  Whoops, sorry cat.


Oh, look someone posted a pic on FB.  Better like that.


hey, there's the filters for the shop vac.  Better change those, that damn thing's not working right. Wash out the foam filter, crap, better let it dry before I put the paper filter on.  Gave the hose a blow, it was full of stuff.  that could be why it wasn't working.  Interesting, isn't it that all sizes use the same filter?


Good coffee, now I have to pee.


Someone poked me.  I better poke her back.


Oh, yeah, that sprayer head, let's see if it fits either of those bottles in the other room.  yep, but the tube is too short.  Out to the garage where the tubing is.  Holy hell, it's hot out there.  Now, figure out which tube is the right size, we'll measure and cut it inside.  There, that's done, but why did the fan fall over and crap, it's ground some insulation off the multimeter lead.  :(


Consolidate some containers of containers that the head packrat has saved.  Bring in the battery charger, charge up the deep cycle battery....it may be dead.  Damn.  Wash dust and dirt off my books from AAI, find the graduation roster inside.  I really don't recognize any of those names anymore.  


Still have not uncovered the tables saw, but I can get to the bandsaw.  No, they are not interchangeable.  Norm may think so, but he's got an unlimited budget...the bastard.


Round up some more cardboard for the recycle bin...we have a recycle bin larger than our trash bin and we often get it filled in 2 weeks.  This should not be an exception....Val may have to sit on it all night Sunday, so it doesn't blow over and spill.  Quit doing that rain dance!


And now on a more serious note.  This has nothing to do with anything, but I want your sympathy, and patience, since I won't be typing much.  A little over a week ago, I developed some neck pain, while driving a bus.  A couple fingers went numb, I finally went to a crackropractor, and he said "you have a pinched nerve."  I thought:  no shit.  He gave my neck a good crack, and it felt better for a while.  Terrible next day, and the day after that.  Went back on Friday, got another good crack...but it didn't really help.  Saturday, Val took me to what I consider to be Urgent Care, they gave me some muscle relaxers and nerve pills.  They have helped, but while on them, there's no driving....they make me sleepy!  Unpredictably sleepy.  Going to miss work....meaning I'm not going to be there.  I won't actually miss it.  ;-)


I'm a little worried that I've got a slipped disc or a herniated disk, or something like that.  Or maybe that muscle is so pissed off that it keeps pulling that bone out of place and there's so much inflammation that the nerve is being pinched.  


I don't know.  But what I do know is that it is not very comfortable to type, sit, stand, walk, eat, pee, crap, or lie down.  In short, if you ever wanted to see me suffer....now's your chance.  I've been suffering for more than a week, but Val's been a great nurse.  I hope I did half as good when she had her hip thing.


I don't expect to post another good long bloggy thing for a while, maybe a short one, now and then on my progress.  Or regress.

As I imagine it, a letter from Cycle Bastards to me:

Dear Mr Bastard,

If you had brought your POS bike to us for repair initially instead of that HD hack, we could have repaired it in the half hour that we estimated.  It would have only cost you a few dollars and you would not have missed your precious ride.

To properly remove a broken bolt it has to be drilled through straight..and he didn't do that.  In fact, if he hadn't broken the EZ Out thingy off but kept drilling, we're certain that the head would have been fucked....completely and totally fucked. Yes, that is the technical term.

Here at Bastard Pros, we don't believe in using the term:  shot.  As in:  the head was drilled crooked, and therefore is shot.  Or:  The bucket has a hole in it, it's shot.

Yes, you brought the "bike" as you call it to us on Tuesday.  We forgot about it.  Sue us.  A series of stupid and gullible people came in begging us to fix their better/higher class motorcycles first because they had important places to go, unlike you.

Yours is done now, get over it.

Sincerely,
Bastard Pros