Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Recovery, week 23 or so

I'm so frustrated irritated and pissed off with the clinic, the pharmacy and insurance that I am inclined to just quit taking the damn pills and sedan how long I survive. Fuck it.

That, of course, was my FB status today. Irrational overreacting, to be sure....and maybe I learned a little or realized something? I doubt I will articulate it here, but I will attempt it. 

It started in October, when I found out that my employer was finally offering health insurance. Yes they are cheap ungrateful bastards. I don't know if it's a good policy or not, actually. I tried to figure it out, but wasn't able to. 

What irritates me is that health care costs so much that we have to have insurance to pay for it. If they'd just charge a modest profit instead of accumulating billions of dollars excess....

But I digress.

Ok, so as soon as I got the insurance card, I should have ran down to the pharmacy (and I probably could actually run that far)(I'd have to collapse in a heap to recover when I got there, though) but I didn't. Wanted to be sure to use up the insurance I had first, in case the coverage was better. Dumb. But that really doesn't matter to the story.

Last week, I stopped in, let the little dude do his thing with my card, and came home to figure out how to get the Rx to the new pharmacy. I think I have to use a different pharmacy, don't I? If so, then why did I stop at the old one? Just in case? I guess.

So today, I pick up the phone and call the number on the card. All it was was a bunch of offers from different sponsors or advertisers. About 40 of them.  Call the other number. I get frustrated with automated voice things. They never understand what I try to tell it, possibly because I can't refrain from swearing at it. The fuckers.  Finally get a dude on the phone, and it wasn't Jake from State Farm, and he did speak English, and sounded like he was in America. I had high hopes. I generally give up half way thru the options and start pressing 0, since I can't pay enough attention or understand or process what it's saying quickly enough. 

So, dude. How do I get Rx.  Blah blah blah blah. Clearly, he thinks I'm stupid, and it is a stupid question. But I can't figure out the answer. Finally get some things figured out, like call the doctor, and give him a credit card. 

Call the doctor. HA good luck with that one, I'm already irritated and feeling dumb as a rotten post when I call the clinic. Clearly I called the wrong number. But notice that they always just transfer instead of saying: you should call this number next time....

Nurse dude couldn't be bothered to help much, kept saying that my pharmacy would ONE TIME ONLY send my Rx to the new pharmacy. And I'm thinking: you have it, why don't you send it, you lazy bastard? Why would the old pharmacy send it? They don't want to lose business.....

Never mind about the next call; it was short and a waste of Verizon minutes.

What I learned from this, or realized. I may not be fully recovered from the concussion. I see 2 issues. Memory/cognitive ability and irrationalness. 

I can't remember if the insurance co sent a packet of information to tell me about the pharmacy or not. And if they did, where did I put it?  I don't remember what I did last year to get Rx to the new pharmacy, or the year before that. (I think it's been 3 years since I lost mayo insurance.)(If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor. HA) 

It seems like more and more when there is putering or phone stuff to do, I'm less able to handle it, and that is frustrating. Because I can figure out other stuff very well.

For example, how to make George purr. Or how to make this: 

But I don't remember recipes, or where I put stuff, or directions to somewhere. 
But I've always been bad at directions....Sometimes. Sometimes I have no problem with them. And it's frustrating that I don't know why.

I've been irrationally emotional for a while now, but I'm pretty sure I can't afford the doctor bills to find out why. (If they even could find out why.) But maybe I can't afford to not find out, also. 

My ears work pretty well. I hear all sorts of conversations in the bus, and usually there's no problem talking on the phone. But when I start talking insurance or money or a few other things, like mentioned above, either I can't pay attention, or maybe trying to translate the words into a format that I recognize takes too long and I can't keep up. 

The doctor gives instructions, but 5 minutes later I don't know what I was supposed to do next. Or when. 

Makes me feel pretty stupid....and that never goes well.