Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Poke 'em in the morning, poke 'em in the evening, poke 'em at suppertime....

And now, a word from our sponsors:  Pink Slime!

Eat more lean finely textured beef!  Why?  Because you've been eating it for years and you  can't tell the difference anyway!  Seriously, friends, do you want the price of hamburger, hotdogs, and canned chili to skyrocket?  Demanding that this lean finely textured beef be taken out of the grocery stores and out of the fast food stores is going to increase prices as well as unemployment.  It's good and good for you!  But wait, there's more!

Eat more "ground chicken" otherwise known as mechanically separated chicken!  Pigs everywhere will thank you!

Facebook pokes, demystified.  First, a question:  What the hell is wrong with you people that you're looking to ME for guidance?  My qualifications:  none.  My experience:  one brother, one sister, one gold station wagon.  2 smokers in the front seat.  I usually sat on the left behind Dad, Susie in the middle and Steve on the right.  Not sure how that worked itself out....other than since Susie was youngest...

Another question:  why is it that when I ask for comments or feedback I get none?  Maybe I should add this at the end of the bloggy thing:  I don't want to hear another word from you little bastards!

Maybe that will get you to answer my questions.

Pokes.  Pokes are different things to different people.  A friend, commonly referred to in bloggy land as Bertha, asked:  What's the deal with pokes?  Turns out that guys that she does not know were visiting her page and poking her. That, friends, is a lame method of flirting.

Sometimes I read about a friend being involved in a poking frenzy.  If I am able to determine who is doing the poking, often I will join the fray, even though I may or may not know who they are.

Once upon a time in a FB-land far far away, (MO) a friend had the same sort of query as Bertha (who does not look like you might imagine a Bertha to look, BTW.) and one of her friends commented about how utterly stupid it was that pokes were even available.  So I promptly went to her page and poked her.  About 5 days in a row.  Why?  I don't know why.  Because I'm immature?  Because I can?  Because it's free?  Because it is likely to irritate her?  Ah, now we're getting somewhere.  She finds it irritating, some find it to be funny, you know, like a friend poking another in the eye with a stick.

And I'm sure some find it to be sexual.  It must be quite a thrill to see on the FB page:  Mick King has poked you.  or perhaps it's not. (you'll notice that I don't have any friends named "bubba")  After all, Val quit poking me several months ago.  Hmmmmmmmm.  Let's explore this a little while, shall we?  And how does that make you feel, Mr King?  Makes me wonder if she can't find it under the little gear looking thingy in the top right corner, actually.  (she is blonde, you know)

It's a quick way to let a friend know that you're thinking of them.  Actually this FB thing is good for that.  Good for reconnecting with long lost friends.

Speaking of an old friend...this came on the radio just now  Music from 1987, which is about the last time I saw my newest FB friend, Tonya.  I knew her for a 6 week spell in one summer, or maybe 2.  Fun stuff.

Back to the pokes.  Here's a quote from a poking friend:  Lisa wrote: "nothing like a great poke before bed, sure helps you sleep at night....LOL"  

Got this pic from a different friend today.  Seems timely and appropriate.  

Bertha's friend and neighbor wants to know why I poke.  There's not a hug button.  There's not a high 5 button, there's not a pat on the back button.   That's pretty much it.  I really don't pretend I'm having sex with the pokee, even during a 6 way poke fest.  Too old and too fat for that crap, too married as well.

Stay tuned for a word from our other sponsor:  

It chops, it slices, it dices it does much much more...............it's so sharp it'll slice off your finger if you're not careful!



I used to dream about a 6 way poke fest, back before a couple of my prospective girlfriends decided that they were lesbians.  Actually, that's not true at all.  

To summarize:
  • fantasy
  • flirting
  • indication of thinking of you
  • irritation
  • fun and frivolity
  • relive youth

If this does not clear things up for you, conduct your own experiment.
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