Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Sleep Number bed

Sleep number bed, first impressions and delivery review.

Val went to the state fair and bought a sleep number bed.  Who does weird crap like that?  We do, I guess. What's my sleep number?  Dunno.  Yet.  I've never been in the store, like a lot of people do before buying the bed, and the store personnel suggest having AT LEAST an hour of time to dedicate to the bed buying experience.  

What kind of person wants to sell sleep number beds?  I should go to the store to find out.  Think about this...you will spend an hour or 2 with prospective bed buyers, and you will see them lying down for part of this time.   Gravity changes the appearance of some body parts.

I'm not sure how much it cost, and I'm pretty sure that I don't really want to know.  I do remember spending $1800 for the bed that we've been sleeping on for the last 10/12 years.  (maybe longer)  I recall it being delivered on Memorial Day buy one dude, (they said they'd send 2) so I had to help haul the damn thing up the stairs.  (Heavy)  After a few years of the bed frame sagging, we took the frame out from under the box spring/mattress and pretended we were hippies sleeping on the floor.  No, we didn't take drugs and have wild sex parties...we just pretended to be hippies.  BTW, removing the frame didn't really solve the sagging problem.  :(

I really enjoyed this bed, it was soft and warm in the winter, it was soft and warm in the summer, soft and warm in the spring, soft and warm in the fall.  I did not use copy/paste to do that, and I should have.  Yes, I'm a dumbass.

The Sleep number bed is f'ing cold.  Except when it's hot.  Ok, I'll admit that we have changed blankets at the same time, Val took the white comforter thingy off and put on the quilt her mom made for us last winter.  I'm going to put a fleece blanket under that quilt thing, see if it helps. There's been a couple mornings when I've awakened covered with sweat,  and all I was doing was sleeping.  Maybe I was fast asleep?  Whatever.

We've had it a week now, here's delivery:

Delivery guy called Val, said they'd arrive at 9:30, and assembly should take 46 minutes.  They showed up at 10, left at 11.  Bastards.  They did not introduce themselves, cursed the whole time they were carrying up the parts, complained about the smallness of the house, banging parts and pieces into the door frames, etc.  And when they brought down the old set, they did not install it correctly onto the frame...it overhangs the headboard mounts by several inches...so we'll get to take it apart to fix that.  Yay, more exercise.

When they were done assembling, I hear "uh, we're done up here".  I mutter: does that mean I'm supposed to come up and look at it?  He showed me every page of the book, and inflated both sides to 100.

100 is about as soft as asstroturf on concrete.  I was going to suggest that the asstroturf would be installed in the bed of a Chevy ElCamino, but there you have the hope of a rust hole or a soft spring....and yes, I know I misspelled astroturf.   It's more fun that way.

At bedtime, I found the remote and lowered the setting to 50, they recommend changing it by 5 or 10 at a time.  Screw that, at 50 its about as soft as a good hotel bed, one that I can sleep on w/o waking with a backache.  Dropped to 45, and left it for a while.  I've since lowered it to 40.  

My current problem is that I don't like to lie on the edge of the bed so that my arm falls off.  But if I don't, it's like I'm lying on the side of a hill, which sucks. I did that once camping at Lake Icolda, which is just north of Corning.  The tent didn't have a built in floor, it'd been raining a bit so the ground was kinda wet.  The sleeping bag, clever! had a nylon or vinyl bottom/cloth top so that you'd stay dry and clean, except that since the tent had no floor, and the nylon was slippery, I kept sliding half out of the damn tent, until I turned over so that the cloth was in the mud, then I stayed the rest of the night inside the leaning tent of Icolda.  Yes, I froze that entire time, I hated camping.  


I suppose camping can be fun if you have the right gear, plenty of clothes and you like that sort of thing.  I know, instead of that stupid gif you want a pic of Val in the bed...maybe next week.  

I find that when I'm alone in the bed, and I'm in the center of the ravine, my ass is split by the baffle between the bladders, which must be sort of like wearing a thong.  I'd get one and try it, but you know I'd then have to post a pic of my hairy ass in the thing, and I don't want you to have to bleach your eyes, so I'll skip that entire experiment.

You're welcome.

I can't imagine what it'd be like if one of us liked it set at 75 and the other at 40...it'd be like having a mesa and a canyon in the same 5' wide bed.  Could make for some interesting/painful/inventive/frustrating rumpy pumpy.  I will just imagine how that would be....with my knee sliding off the hard side onto the soft side, plunging to my near death experience, spraining/straining several somethings in the process.  That would be an interruptus moment, to say the least.

So, a week in, I can't yet tell you to go buy a sleep number bed.  We've got 3 weeks to keep trying it before we can't send it back, we may have to call customer support or visit the store, to see if the grand canyon can be mitigated.  Feel free to share your experiences, esp if you have a sleep number bed thingy.  What's your number??
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