Friday, December 30, 2011

Taking yet another break from the cruise review; no one seems to like it anyway.  No problem, I don't mind.  *sigh*

So I posted on the FB thingy that I was going to the coffeeshop place from 1-4 today, and so I did.  Bought lunch and coffee there, not quite $10.  The food is ok, I suppose it'd be great if I were a yuppie or a preppie instead of a DINK.  What?  Oh, yeah.  Tuna melt and wild rice soup. Ethiopia coffee.  Tuna is always kind of dry, so mustard helps.  Dunking it in the soup helps too.

And! So now, to amuse myself, I'm going to tell you about some of the people that surrounded me at the coffee shop.  Do I care that you don't care about any of them, you only care about me and what I'm up to.

This just in:  we just got a Christmas card from Val's brother & sister in-law in (ironically enough) Bedford, TX...Her nephew is recovering from surgery, can't go anywhere or do anything for 4 more weeks!  No, we don't know what sort of surgery it was, I'm guessing lobotomy.  I don't know why she wouldn't tell us what kind of surgery it was, perhaps she wanted a mention in the bloggy thing.

So anyway...I get there and order my lunch and coffee, find a place to sit.  Sadly, it was right next to the fireplace.  It afforded a great view of the place, but within about 20 minutes, I wanted to take off my pants, it was so warm in there.  Maybe I should have had a cold drink.  What's the deal with people not taking off their coat when they go inside?  People were coming in, sitting there for an hour all bundled up, coat, hat, scarf, etc.  If your coat doesn't keep you warm when you are inside, where it's about 70* and no wind, how is the coat going to keep you warm outside???  You need to wear more coats.  I know, I know that coat you've got there is stylish and fashionable, but...

So who is there?  4 ladies sitting at a table whispering to each other.  I was only 6' from them, didn't hear a word they said.  A pair of 20something girls came in with computers, sat at a table.  One had a cast on her forearm/wrist, guessing it was for the wrist or hand.  She was wearing a pair of snug jeans and a purple shirt that was too short for her, and thankfully she raised her arms above her head once while she was facing me.  No, her navel was not pierced.  She does have a tattoo on her back, but not really a tramp stamp.  2 linkys there, friends.  I didn't hear what they were up to.

A pair of 30 something girls were in, each wearing fancy embroidered ass jeans.  One was clearly an artificial blond; her hair didn't match her eyebrows at all.  She used a lot of facial expressions when she'd talk, and I could hear some of what she'd say if I'd concentrate.  BUT there was more interesting conversation, a friend was in, talking to a referee about his kid and ex wife.  Pretty soon, the ex comes in to chat too.  I could hear most of what he was saying if I payed attention.  It was interesting watching the ex come in, observing body language, mannerisms, etc. 

Watching "Project Accessory".  Shoot me now.

So anyway, somehow, Corey is the reasonable one in this battle.  Knowing he calls his current girlfriend "Jilldo" and having heard something of well never mind about all that.  I just don't understand why people wind up being such assholes over/about the kids.  They have a common goal...raise a kid in such a manner that it doesn't turn out like themselves....so what if they can't live together, they don't have to be a dick about it.  Sounds like he might get a phone number for them!!! Wow!

Some tall skinny dipshit came in, sat down by the window, opened his laptoppy thing and commenced blaring some talky shit.  After a few minutes of this, the guy sitting between me and the dipshit and I berated Sir Dipshit, who announced that he could turn it off if it bothered us.  We let him know that it did indeed bother us, and how inconsiderate he was, and how he should be using headphones.  Prince Dipshit got up and left.  He didn't even say goodbye! 

Thank goodness it was getting on towards 4:00 when these next great citizens came in.  She had white hair, was wearing ear muffs, and actually did take off her coat.  She came in, cough cough, cough cough, cough cough.  I told her that "that's not proper coffee shop etiquette or conversation".  But she didn't hear, or else ignored me.  He was over getting their hot chocolate, just one, so they could share!  He was also white haired, with a weird knot of hair on the back controlled with a rubber band.  Kinda bald on top, he kept his leather coat on.  So she took the lid off the cup and holding it with both hands, proceeded to lick out the inside of it.  She licked that sucker so clean that a long tongued dog or Gene Simmons would be hard pressed to find a drop.  He poured a slug of tan liquid into a water cup for her, he kept the good cup.  They sucked it down like a pony express horse that had just run across Kansas.  He trots off for a refill, and the phone rings!  She digs it out, and answers it, doesn't take off the ear muffs...not sure how that works, she used her left ear, so I couldn't see.  The call was for him, and he took it outside!  What a guy.  My hero.  I was tired of them and of sitting there, so I packed up and left.  About that time, she picked up some of the well used and abused newspaper, dropping some of it on the floor, which she didn't pick up.  As I was leaving, I made sure to slide it over and maybe even got it onto her shoe.  I wish that I could have left her with something nice to smell, but I guess I had shot off the final blast before they arrived.

That reminds me of a story of last year's late route.  Some of the kids had pissed me off, so I went back to yell at them.  As I was going back up front, I stopped to pick up something one of the buggers had thrown on the floor, and with my large butt in the face of a kid, released a fragrant and noisy blast.  I turned to look at him, he looked shellshocked.  Kind of reminds me of a video I saw once. Dumbass was wearing a glass/plastic dome on his head, there was a seal around the neck and a hose with a  funnel on one end, entering the dome/bubble right about the nose area.  Dude #2 turned ass to camera, dropped pants, put funnel to ass, and sent a cloud of stink down the hose.  Dumbass got a whiff and instantly puked into the bubble, where you can clearly see how good the neck seal was...it didn't leak out!  All this reminds me of another story which I won't tell you about.  haha.

So that was my trip to DunnBros, except for the girl with the red pants that kept running back and forth.  Interesting. 

Yes, I do like to watch people...you just never know what someone is going to do.
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