Wednesday, May 23, 2012

which scenario is the one that actually occurred?

Below, find a number of scenarios, your task shall be to determine which is accurate/occurred and which did not.  To determine this, you will engage your BS detector and utilize your knowledge of me, your memory of what I've told you, etc and so on.

Don't be a creepy lurker bastard; you can either post a comment here or on FB.

It's a nice hot sunny day, and I'm driving the bus, sort of between routes, I'd finished dropping off all the junior high kids and was heading for the high school, it's a 10-15 minute drive unless there's road destruction like there was last May and June which caused all sorts of stress, irritation and tardyness on my part arriving to the high school.  I like bananas,  I eat a couple of them each day, unless I forget to have some on hand....ripeness, you know.  I can't eat them if they are green.  So after I've dropped off the last kid, I haul ass to the high school to get the next batch.  Often, on the way, I enjoy a banana.  I made the mistake once of putting the peel into the trash....holy swarm of fruitflies, I was afraid they were taking over.  I ate the banana, and put the peel on the ledge next to the window.  Had to stop for a red light, and got to looking around.  Huh, I thought.  That could be fun.  The light was about to turn green, the convertible next to me had his top down, I tossed in that banana peel.....I just couldn't help myself.  Believe me when I tell you that I laughed my ass off the rest of the afternoon, too.

Couple weeks ago, I had to go to WallyMart for something.  Seems like we always have to go there for something, probably because we can't ever remember to get everything we think we need at one time.  I was walking thru the pharmacy section, and I see a really old couple shuffling along, leaning on the buggy, looking at everything like Christmas is coming and they were making out their wish list.  Could just see the list, scrawled in their spidery old folk handwriting:  Preperation H, Depends, enema, chap stick, powder, vaseline, super polident, XLax, aspirin, rolaids....I can see that getting old is not for sissies.  I grabbed up a box of condoms and dropped it into their buggy while they were not looking.  I had nothing going on that afternoon, so I loitered on the bench near the front of the store to watch them check out with their pile of goodies.  She's unloading the cart, and when she gets to the box

She says:  "XL?  30% larger?  What the hell is going on here?  Are you hoping they make you 30% larger?  And a whole dozen of them?  We have not had rumpy pumpy 12 times in 20 years.....are you having an affair?"  I commenced LoLingMAO as I left...

To be continued....
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